When you’re bi or pan, you cross both lines of ‘normality’, and that makes it even harder to come out. Why do we think these things? It comes down to heteronormativity (or straight = normal) and mononormativity (loving just one gender/other person at a time = normal). Here are few of those ‘stale stereotypes’ you might have heard about bi/pan people before: “you’re just gay and too scared to come out”, “you’re just trying it out”, “it’s a phase”, “you’re greedy”, “you can’t decide”, “you’ve gone gay”, “you’ve gone back to being straight”. “Why is it confusing to feel something sexy or hot for someone? I still get a bit sad when I hear people saying, I’m confused, because you’re being made to feel confused because of all the messages and all the stuff out there and so good to hear about TikTok and social media and finding your tribe,” Maria says. LGTBQ+ ally, activist and academic Dr Maria Palotta-Chiaroli says “stale stereotypes” are the main thing holding young bi and pansexual people back from embracing their identities.
What actually IS complicated is the baggage that comes with that. “I would say if you’re physically attracted to someone, and maybe having sexual thoughts about them and they’re of a particular gender than you might be attracted to that gender and it’s not that much more complicated than that,” queer psychologist Josh Muller says. Leila’s worried that she’s making it up, because at this stage, her desires are all in her head. How do I know these feelings are legit? What if it’s all in my head? Here’s how you can dip your toe in and start working yourself out. So if these thoughts are familiar to you, read on. So, this is all stuff I’ve heard before and thought about myself too. Maybe I really am straight and it’s not really real, and there are these wonderful WLWs and I’m intruding on that space.” “There’s this fear that maybe I’m making it up, maybe it’s just for attention, which is crazy because I’ve told hardly anyone. “There’s this stereotype as well about straight women leading gay women or bisexual women on, which is an awful thing to do and I guess I’m worried that maybe that would be what I was doing,” Leila says. She’s dated a few guys and feels like she’s ready to explore this side of herself, but doesn’t know where to start or if it’s even ok to. “I have memories in high school of always wanting to kiss girls but I kind of thought of it as a thing that everyone must want to do,” she tells The Hook Up. Maybe you drunk makeout with the same gender all the time, but “doesn’t everyone, haha?” *sweats* Let me tell you, it’s time to stop ignoring the very obvious signs.įor Leila*, the thoughts of hooking up with girls have been around for a while, but she’s still not sure. You can’t stop looking at that cute girl fronting that band that you’re now totally obsessed with for some reason!? You get all shaky when that hot guy from footy says he’s coming for beers later. But while some go, ‘hmm, nah’, and let it go, for others it takes hold. I think most people have seen a hot member of the same sex and thought about it. For the sake of this quiz, we’re going to keep it simple by using male/female and gay/straight.Have you ever thought you might not actually be 100% straight? (Note: We know the world is made up of more than just 2 genders and there are all types of sexual orientations. What if you find yourself attracted to people who are the same gender as you and the opposite sex? Does that mean you’re Bisexual? Maybe you’re bi-curious. Anything that draws you to another person- intellectually, emotionally, or sexually – could be considered an attraction.
#DO WOMEN THINK IM GAY TEST HOW TO#
Maybe your loins are on fire because the barista remembered how to spell your name. Maybe you have a colleague that you just really get along well with. Maybe you have a friend you think is cute. Gay, straight, and lesbian aren’t the ONLY options.Īttraction can mean many things.
There’s nothing wrong with that! The number of people who identify as bi has risen over the years and more folks are admitting to being bi-curious. Almost everyone, at some point or another, has felt an attraction to the same gender in addition to being into the opposite sex.